kitchen staples

There are staples that belong in the kitchen, and then there are staples that do not! I have just made possibly the most frightfully stupid and brainless mistake known to my short career as a slovenly housewife.

It went like this. I was making dinner all normal-like.

(all normal-like, for those of you who may be wondering, is the same as saying in-a-normal-fashion.)

(in-a-normal-fashion means not being crazy)

(and crazy means crazy)

So I went to open a newly purchased packet of dried sage. It was in a plastic bag with the paper label stapled over the opening. I pulled out the two staples and left them on the counter while I measured out the sage for the soup. Then I used an elastic to wrap up the label and the bag and put it away. And then, naturally, I threw the staples away.

OR SO I THOUGHT!!!

Toward the end of the meal, DH found a staple in his soup. No--not even that! He found a staple in his mouth of food! ACK! I nearly expired on the spot. I tried to remember what I did with the staples. I threw them away, didn't I? But it was undeniably, a staple. There are no other staples in my kitchen. I must have put them in the soup! Which means there is one more staple hiding in the soup. What if he'd choked on it and died? It is a horrible thought. What if I swallowed a staple and didn't realize it? Is that possible?

Lesson #1. NEVER PUT STAPLES IN SOUP

Lesson #2. ALWAYS THROW THEM IN THE TRASH

Lesson #3. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

While transferring the leftover soup to a storage container, I was extremely pleased to discover the second staple. PHEW! Now we will still eat the rest of the soup (which was quite tasty otherwise) very very carefully, but without quite as much worry! Feel free to laugh. I give you leave. I have proven my slovenly housewifeness beyond the shadow of any doubt, if there ever was one.