Thursday, August 31, 2006

the haunted bathroom: part III

This is hopefully the conclusion to the ghost saga. The wooden scrubbie was not broken by the ghost. It was...gravity! I looked more closely at it, and noticed the scrubbie has a slightly wedged slot that the handle slides into. When hanging upside down, the wedging doesn't support the scrubbie part...and so it fell! To think all this time I was agonizing over which glue to use. So I just shoved it back in. The foil is complete. I shall dance the dance of triumph.

P.S. Feedblitz is stupid. I'm pretty sure the notification for part 2 was never sent. I am switching to feedburner for emails, so don't be surprised when you start getting notifications from them instead.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

the haunted bathroom: part II

I bought new shampoo today. I thought it best to try a different kind. However, just as I began to feel I had triumphed over said ghost, I noticed that my wooden back scrubbie was broken. The same back scrubbie I bought last friday. The one that I only used this morning and which was totally non-broken. Come to think of it..this is the second wooden back scrubbie that has broken. The first one was purchased at target and I blamed the breakage on the cheapiness of my selection. But the latest one was purchased at an actual bath shop (semi non-cheapy)..and I tested several of them before selecting the one which I thought had the scrubbie most sturdily attached to the handle. Sigh. I can only attribute this stroke of bad luck to the ghost. And to have it occur the day after my eerie shampoo disappearing act, I can only suspect that it is a mean ghost, that is not lacking in acumen.

However, I have a plan and it is this: glue the scrubbie back onto the handle. A stroke of pure genius, surely. Then the ghost will be foiled! But now I have to agonize over whether super-glue is good enough or whether I need to buy wood glue. If I have to buy wood glue then I'll be sentenced to wander around target for 3 hours looking for it, since nobody that works there can ever answer my questions properly. (Even after many attempts, I only ever receive one of three responses: (1) "It's somewhere down that way." (2) "We don't carry that" (when they really do carry it, and I find it on my own 30 minutes later), and (3) "We don't carry that" (when it's true and I waste 30 minutes looking for it). I suppose I could go to home depot..but that is so far away, and I'd hate for the ghost to think I went to any trouble. Or I could just order it online, which is definitely the easiest solution, but then I'd have to pay for shipping and I hate that. Sigh.

The lawn
Is pressed by unseen feet, and ghosts return
Gently at twilight, gently go at dawn,
The sad intangible who grieve and yearn....

~T.S. Eliot, To Walter de la Mare

Monday, August 28, 2006

the haunted bathroom

So...I woke up this morning like it was any other day. I didn't want to get up. This was most likely due to the fact I was up late finishing book # 151 as promised (see last post). I decide whether to eat cereal first, or take a shower first. I decide to eat cereal. Afterward, I step in the shower and there is this goopey substance near the drain. I try not to think about the water is already on and I don't care enough. But then, when I reach for my shampoo bottle, I discover it is completely empty. Upon closer examination of said bottle, there is a tiny hole in the base. The plastic seam had spontaneously split apart in a small hole (poking out, not in, which means it wasn't a man-made prank). How can this be? It was fine yesterday. I've never had a bottle of anything leak spontaneously from a mysterious hole. I haven't even dropped it recently.

There have been other strange things occur as well. First, there was the bobby pin that I "misplaced." I have no recollection of this. I put it down, and then it wasn't there anymore. I liked that pin. I keep finding these tiny screws laying around too. There isn't any rational explanation for that one...not like the time I was driving my car and something hard fell onto my leg and onto the floor. I had suspected the person next to me in the car had thrown something at me and pretended not to. But then I noticed a couple weeks later there was a screw missing in the overhead visor thing. Mystery solved. I put the screw back.

And so, I must conclude, my bathroom is haunted. The ghost thinks I don't clean enough. But I totally cleaned it two weeks ago (after being inspired by sister, AKA mother of baby--actually, I started to clean it the moment I got home from visiting baby)...I even washed the curtain. The ghost tried to scare me away by causing my shampoo to leak. But, if I were a ghost, I'd do a much better job. I think that I'd first cause the shampoo to leak, just as a primer, and then go on to bigger and better things. Hopefully my ghost is a dumb ghost that lacks proper haunting skills. I guess I'll find out.

P.S. This is a completely lame post (I know, this is a big assumption because I'm implying that some of my posts aren't lame) and it's mostly just an excuse to see if stupid feedblitz is working again.

P.P.S. It just occurred to me that the missing bobby pin might have been the first step in the ghost's nefarious plan. Maybe my ghost is only semi-barely dumb. Strange things are afoot.

P.P.P.S. As a final note, it has just occurred to me that on my birthday last week I forgot to make a wish when I blew out my candle. Admittedly, the candle was in a scoop of ice cream and not in a cake, and I didn't have anybody yelling, "make a wish," as a reminder..but still. I feel as if I've lost something. However, I have become a prime number, and so that sort of makes up for it. Being a prime number will surely instill special powers that shall aid me in my quests.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

how many?

So, I'm going to take advantage of my bloggerness and promote a website. Sort of. Well, maybe allude to it anyway. I have a habit of writing down all the books I read, and have done this for several years. I didn't have any master list, only book entries scattered throughout handwritten journal entries as well as typed ones. And so, I've been going through them and entering them into librarything (the allusion). I am in love with this site. You can add in comments on each book, reviews, ratings, tags (like: have read, own, want, fantasy, sci-fi, etc) and link to other people's lists and reviews as well. And I have been shocked--to epic proportions. If I add up everything I've read this year back to August 26 of 2005, I have read exactly 150 books. Tomorrow it will be 151. 150 books in one year! That's like...2.9 books per week. I had already suspected I was a semi-loser nerd and had no life, but now I have evidence. I just wanted to establish that fact.

Now excuse me while I get back to my book.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

things worth knowing

1. The Museum of Bad Art. Someone is keeping track of all the bad art. I think this is very important. I enjoy bad art as least as well as good art, possibly more.

2. Web Pages that Suck. Someone else is keeping track of all the worst web pages out there. Unfortunately, said person notifies web-site owners when they win the "Worst Web Page in the World" award...and as a result many of them have been improved. But a few have not been improved..and these are my favorites:

This page has a brilliantly tiled background. I've never laughed so hard by myself at the computer, ever. (I do not mean to imply that I have laughed as hard with another person at the computer, nor do I imply that I have laughed as hard by myself away from the computer. Although, these two cases may very well have occurred. Furthermore, it is likely that I have laughed as hard with another person (or more) away from the computer.)

This one is..well..what it is.

This one is a game...can you move the cursor across the screen without activating a pop-up box? Apparently not. Tricksy.

3. The Bad Cookie. The bad fortune cookie, to be precise.

I shall sleep better tonight knowing such websites exist.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

they exist.

Yesterday, my lunch cost $2.45. Today, the same lunch cost $3.00. I didn't have that much money. The man behind me offered to pay the difference. I just wanted to point out that notwithstanding all the people who lie, cheat, swindle, etc., there are still very kind people out there who will pay for your lunch and smile at you at the same time. So thanks, whoever you are. I am less of a cynic today than I was yesterday.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

there are no words...

Watch this.

This post was brought to you by Libby.

stupid earthquake

So, I studied earthquakes during my undergrad. I move to california. I put in my time. And then when the earthquake finally happens (evening of August 2--epicenter in the east bay), I'm on an airplane in the middle of nevada, 1 hour away from landing. And it was 4.4 magnitude...there's no way I wouldn't have felt that one. I'll just have to go on living I suppose...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

n is for nerd

I can't help that I'm a nerd at heart. And as such, I have found the source of much future glee. Here. (Thanks to Brad..but I don't think he knows that I know.) The manic mode is the best. And, being the nerd that I am, I counted the number of different bubble imprint patterns...there are four. (Am I wrong?)

I have recently begun to read a book..a lipogrammatic book, once written in french by a Georges Perec, and translated into English by Gilbert Adair. At any rate, its called A Void, and it doesn't have the letter "e" in it. But the best part of the whole book is the picture of Perec on the back cover...which looks somewhat like this but with a more conflicted facial expression.

I may or may not think of anything further to say.

I thought of something else. Push it for a few seconds just to get the stats. People actually hold the stupid thing for days on end. People are dumb. (This is where my father says, and I quote:
"If I say that I agree then because people are dumb I must be wrong because since people are dumb there is a significant chance that people are smart and we only think that they are dumb because we are not smart but if we are not smart then the original proposition is probably true and people are really dumb."
Sorry Dad. That was just too great not to repeat.)

But then, maybe we are the stupid ones, because really all they do is get a single button mac mouse and put a book on it. But then..that would mean their computer was out of commission during that time. Or maybe they went on vacation. Maybe I should devote my life to finding things other than online buttons and bubble wrap.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.