Thursday, July 26, 2007

important announcement

Today I saw a purple lady. She was across from me on BART this morning. She missed her bus to take her to BART, because she had to go back to her house to get papers she needed in order to go to some registration type office in Oakland. She was running 30 minutes late. She broadcasted this quite loudly while on her cell phone. I didn't want you to miss out on the important information.

She wore a purple elastic in her hair, a purple shirt, purple pants, purple shoes, and purple fingernail and toenail polish. Very impressive matching effort.

Monday, July 23, 2007

bally total fitness

The only place you can really see men and women with deteriorating health run like the wind (even if it be a gentle breeze), is at the train station. They run in suits. They run in high heels. They run carrying an unmanageable number of bags, which they may or may not drop. I see it nearly every day. It is sort of funny, after all. (definitely funny.) People who would never quicken their step under any other circumstance (excepting tragic events, of course) find themselves propelled forward. Today there was a pink lady with bags. A pink lady with a pink shirt and pink pants. By the way, nobody ever posted about the pink joke.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Northanger Abbey: A reason to love.

It all began one wintry night, when the sky was dark and the wind howled...

The movie showing (that wintry night) featured a film beloved by few: Northanger Abbey, the unsung Jane Austen flick.

Like janie the magnificent (who introduced me to this film), I have grown to harbor a great fascination and love for Northanger Abbey. There are far too many who fail to love it as they should, and each time I convert another follower I cannot help but rejoice. And so, I have decided to compose a list of reasons to love (the film).

Why I love Northanger Abbey (BBC)

  1. The male lead's last name is Firth. Peter Firth. No relation to Colin Firth, unfortunately, but this point alone is important enough that I need not go on...(yet I do).
  2. The theme music is excessively melodramatic. Quite laughable, actually. Not at all fitting for a jane austen.
  3. There is a horrific saxophone and soprano duet during a nature walk that you just can't miss.
  4. Peter Firth sings somewhat painfully out of tune, but at least he tries. With his own voice--which is more than most can claim.
  5. All the actors and actresses are VERY ugly, except for the two leads who are so-so.
  6. The film was made in the 1980s, with hair to match.
  7. The male antagonist is super creepy, and far uglier than any other cast member, except possibly for the old guy in the giant yellow wig.
  8. There is a woman in the ballroom with a beauty spot on her face 1 inch in diameter.
  9. You can hear Darth Vader breathing in the background sometimes.
  10. The female lead (often) wears her hair with tight curls poking out onto her forehead that looks like a claw.
  11. There are daydream sequences (that don't always make sense)!
  12. The male lead somehow wins the heart of the female lead by insulting her on the sly.
  13. The male lead wrinkles his nose in one scene, which is positively delightful.
  14. The male lead goes after the female lead, riding a long long way. She is sought. And all ends happily in Jane Austen fashion. Hurrah!
Really, I could go on and on. SO delightful. As a side note, your enjoyment will be magnified if you first read the book Northanger Abbey is a spoof of (mainly) (and which is alluded to throughout the film): The Mysteries of Udolpho, by Ann Radcliffe. 675 pages of wild and crazy Gothic fun. I should also say that you should read the book Northanger Abbey before you watch the movie, but I don't want to be too demanding, even if I am old fashioned.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

two buttercups.

Point 1:
Buttercup is my powerpuff girl of choice. She has black hair, a deep voice, and attitude. A fine rearview mirror ornament, I dare say. I do have to reapply black marker from time to time to make sure her hair remains in tact, since it is constantly rubbing against my giant pink fuzzy dice, which I inherited from my oldest sister. I purchased my buttercup keychain in china town, New York City. It was my only purchase, I must admit, besides a pair of fake glasses. Everyone was doing it. Fake glasses were the rage...

Point 2:
I have purchased a new phone. More specifically, I upgraded and paid minimal amounts. As with all new phones, there are no acceptable ringtones and I was forced to download something to satisfy my excessively high standards. This is what I chose:

The Foundations - Build Me Up Buttercup

Now I dance a jig while searching for my phone. You can too.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

book derivatives

I should like to point out (which is why I am doing so) that I have a new widget on the sidebar called, Recent Books. I do read, after all. Not as much as I used to, but I'm still respectable. I have had many questions over the years regarding what I read, so now you can keep up if you so choose.

Another new addition to the sidebar is in the blogroll--zim life. DH has gone away. Alas!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Melville: a memoir

Melville: person and place.

Person: Herman. Herman Melville, who wrote Moby Dick. 1819-1891. His birth and death years are eerily numeric mirrors of one another. My death by this reckoning will be in 2038 at age 55. Alas.

Place: Melville. Melville Ave. I live on this road. Rather, I should say, I live to the side of the road. In a house. Part of a house. There are four bedrooms, all with bedding on the beds and clothes in the closet. Never before, since the initial requisition of Melville as an LDS habitation, has anyone been alone-in-Melville. Until now. I have become its sole occupant. 3 out of 4 are away. The probability of this event occurring is exceedingly low. No one has ever been alone-in-Melville. Before moving here I decided to take the role of Queequeg, in Moby Dick. I will be brave, and go down with the ship. Alas. I alone must bear this burden, for no one will ever again be alone-in-Melville.

(It may be that I am mistaken and someone has been alone-in-Melville before. It is quite likely, actually, especially during last Christmas. Somebody had to be the last to leave, and the first to come back. But I'd rather be overly dramatic and pretend that no one has ever been alone-in-Melville so that I may die in peace.)

Moby Dick was published in 1851, one year after the Scarlet Letter. It is semi-ridiculous that I remember when the Scarlet Letter was published. But there are worse things. It's no wonder I remember, however, since I have used Hester Prynne as a fake name for years in various contexts...and it was only last week that I was thinking about writing a poem entitled, Arthur Dimmesdale: man or mineral? I did not write it, however (all mankind may thank me later), and I probably never will. Mostly I chose not to write it because I couldn't remember his first name, and until I looked it up 1 minute ago I couldn't think of anything but Richard. Therefore I will write this (horrible) poem instead:

Richard Dimmesdale: Man or Mineral?

A man would not
I fear
under that name
such a silly name

mineral, definitely
a name
is inspired--
Rock of Death!

Rock of Death
jumps from the scaffold
and splats.

He didn't weigh very much after all.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Graduation: a thing of the past

To be specific, I graduated 3 months ago ("degree conferred"). It's true. But I didn't graduate until 2 weeks ago.

Italics are everything. Everything. Underline is a thing of the past. Underline is dead. Dead. Another digression(
This reminds me of an assignment I once had in Jr. High English class. It was entitled, "Really and Very are dead." Dead. We were to compose brilliant essays without using those words for adverbs. I forget whether mine was brilliant or not.)
Yet another digression(
I must admit I looked up "really" in the dictionary to check the part of speech. I had suspected it was an adverb, but wasn't certain. Now that I am certain, I am not sure why. Don't adverbs modify verbs? Case: "He was really cute." Cute is an adjective. Was is a verb, however, it doesn't seem to be getting modifed by the "adverb," but cute does. Blah. I need an English review, it would seem.)
I used to think underlining very important and grammatically essential. Before my librarything days, I used to keep track of all the books I read in my journal. I would underline all the book titles, just like I was taught. (Yes,I've been a drone, an ant in sunglasses.) I did it even when nobody would see it but me. Even though I have decided underlining to be out of style, it was very helpful to spot a title without having to scan thru all the text on a page. But. I digress from the main topic of this post.)

Graduation. I went. I had 10 seconds of fame when I saw myself on the stadium big screen. I got sunburned too, alas (with alack--for you, Janie;-)) Since then the sunburn has faded, as have the lilies and roses that those who love me gave me that day.

that's all.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.