Thursday, April 13, 2006

Something worthy of note.

Today is a day set apart from other days. Today I received my very first fake credit card magnet, which is, of course, too weak to hold anything up except itself, being useless in the extreme. I have, for a couple of years now, collected fake credit cards. I would actually waste time by noticing that 10 of my cards are identical, except the 1-800 number changed. Why would a company change their 1-800 number so frequently? It's competely ridiculous..not only that it occurs, but that I have wasted time thinking about it. But now my truly sick hobby can develop in a new direction. I can collect fake credit card magnets. I'm open to handouts.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The time came. And went.

So, there are many things I grew up believing. I was sure that my dad was the tallest guy in the world. (No way.) I thought that moving was the worst thing ever, what with all the difficulty in physically picking up a house and transporting it. I thought that being fired was cruel and unnecessary, and who would ever burn their employee? I thought that islands were floating piles of dirt. I thought that if I ate a watermelon seed a watermelon tree would grow in my stomach. (This is aside from the fact that watermelon grows on bushes, and that having a single watermelon growing in my stomach would be bad enough--no, it had to be a tree.)

I forgot how to spell my own last name once. But nobody believed me. The only time I ever cheated..was in kindergarten. It was a spelling test. The word.."of." Amazingly enough, I thought it was spelled "ov."

But the really irritating thing is that I'll never know what my sisters were always whispering about when they felt the proper reply to my questioning was: "We'll tell you when you're older." Yeah, right.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.