Thursday, December 01, 2005

Me... Posted by Picasa

California hang ups and Disclaimer

Ok, so you're in a fast food joint. You order. Then the cashier asks, "for here or to go?"

I would like to make clear my intense dislike of this phrase. In utah all they ever say is "to stay or to go?" When the cashier has a heavy accent and the atmosphere is loud, and I don't hear the expected "to stay or to go," I really can't figure out what was said and I think..why is she asking me about my ear? Blah. How did "stay" get replaced with "here"? Sometime in Nevada? I really must protest. Also, the phrase is completely lacking parallel structure. "Here" is a noun and "go" is a verb..the utah way is so much nicer and I think everyone must agree with me. But really this is a completely stupid point and you must feel free to argue.

But something that really is terrible about this the cottage cheese. I'd swear it's whipped and then frozen and then whipped again before packaging it. It is completely disgusting. I have tried 4 brands and only 1 of them is slightly tolerable. Trader Joes.

The final thing that really bothers me (at least bay area-wise) is the whole north is northwest business. I can do ok and rotate my coordinate system 45 degrees when driving on freeways and such, but sometimes I remain perplexed such as in the following example:

Q: What side of campus do you live on?

A #1: The southwest side. (But, this assumes one refers to the unrotated geographical context.)
A #2: The northwest side. (Assuming rotated system.)
A #3: The west side. (The most generally accepted answer, of course, being the least specific, which could still be interpreted as being very specific.)

But what about if someone said.."I live south of blah blah blah." How do I know which direction they really mean? If they mean south as the rotated south, then how do I know that's what they meant? What if they're anal like me and always speak in a natural geographic context?

This entire post, by the way, is completely pointless, as are all my posts, and one must always assume one is about to read something completely lacking in literary merit before proceeding with blog of mine so that one isn't too disappointed. This is my disclaimer for this blog, and I am finished.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

A poet. A poet? Perhaps not.

I have dozens of really terrible poems that I have composed over the years. Nothing too recent though. Some examples worthy of note are two of my sonnets. I wrote a sonnet about papayas. I also wrote one that involved a cuvette. I think the worst poem ever was an ode to a font that I liked (not a sonnet, if you wondered). I wrote it first in the font (which also happened to look incomprehensible with heiroglyphic characters), then "translated" it into ... Times New Roman, perhaps? The font was called "King Tut." Enjoy.

This is King Tut.
I am illiterate.
I do not know how to spell
mischeif, nor retreive.
Or marraige.
You must not comprehend
what this says.
If you can, you have deTUTed it.
You must die.

Hmm..written in 2000. I still manage to write odes for people (usually on birthday cards). I wrote an Ode to Robitussin once. Maybe, someday, if you win a place in my heart, I'll write an ode to you.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

An extremely short sketch on the nature of things.

The nature of things is dependent on many factors. These factors are, of course, other things. Those other things depend on yet more things. Surely, somewhere down the chain, one of the dependent factors is the original thing or thought to which the original statement is ascribed, and when such an idea is realized it makes the nature of things somewhat easier to grasp..

Friday, November 11, 2005

Thoughts on Birthdays

Birthdays are birthdays. You can celebrate the anniversary of your day of birth, but that is different from celebrating turning 19, or 45, or whatever. Technically, on my 23rd birthday, it will be the first day of my 24th year, so I should really be celebrating the day before the birthday --the day I am finishing my 23rd year. That is more cause to celebrate turning 23, is it not?

So long, and thanks for all the fish.