Monday, March 07, 2011

The Anthropologie Super-Villains

I, like many Palo Alto girls, adore Anthropologie. There is one located within the city. It has a sales rack. Once I went in and there was a super-sale rack! For 4 months I lived not 4 blocks away from the store. Anthropologie is on the corner of Addison and Alma streets. So poetic.

And I, also like many Palo Alto girls, can't afford to shop there. Alas. I do own 3 articles of clothing that came from that store. Also, a few kitchen items and some place mats. Some were wedding gifts, some sale items, some super-sale items.

I also receive the catalog. It is very entertaining. So much so, that I was stuck with the desire to tell a story using the pages of the catalog. This would not be possible with just any clothing catalog. All catalogs have pictures of models wearing the clothing. Anthropologie goes beyond that and sets up a background for the models as well. Each picture could be a story...

The images here were taken from the online March 2011 catalog.

Here begins the serial story of the Anthropologie Super-Villains. These stories are written at lightening speed with zero forethought, preparation, research or skill. As such, they will likely be ridiculous, confusing, inconsistent, and possibly irritating. BUT, the idea of annotating the Anthropologie catalog seems vastly entertaining and so I will do it anyway.

The Anthropologie Super-Villains

by lrh

It all started one bright summer morning when Sasha the head sorceress walked into her tower-cottage with antique furnishings. She was returning early from her daily walk in the woods because she'd forgotten to feed her favorite pet mouse, Saruman the White.

Saruman the White was nowhere to be found because somehow the front doors to her cottage had been thrown open in the short time she had been gone. Sasha was surprised but by no means daunted. She was wearing her special necklace that day, and the white beads gave her special psionic powers that allowed her to communicate with animals.

Sasha closed her eyes and was preparing
to channel the energy of the beads when she heard someone turn on the faucet in the kitchen. She rushed in to see her twin sister Trista holding a cup of spiced tea. The aroma was strong enough she could recognize it from across
the room.

Sasha spoke hurriedly, "Were you successful? Did you find the cave where we stayed last Autumn?"

"I thought I could see it from afar off but as I got closer I grew distracted and somehow wandered into a yarrow patch shaped like a designer hand bag."

"Yarrow? Did you not wear the protection head dress I fashioned for you?"

Trista looked embarrassed but confessed, "It didn't match the rest of my ensemble. I truly thought it would be alright since I'd seen it from a distance."

Sasha looked irritated. "Well, the cave must be concealed by a spell of some sort. Is there any tea left?"

Trista looked into the earthenware pot shaped like an elephant and discovered she had used the last of the tea leaves. "Well, no there isn't."

"Nevermind, I need to go back outside and look for Saruman. We can gather herbs as we look." Sasha turned and walked back to the door. Trista had just caught up when Sasha turned to her and asked, "Did you see him at all when you came in? He must have gone out when you left the door open."

Trista looked up quickly and replied, "No, the door was wide open when I arrived. I thought you'd left it that way."
Sasha looked thoughtful for a moment and shook her head. "I always close it when I leave. What if Saruman was kidnapped! I could never live with myself if he ended up in the wrong hands. He is a special mouse, after all."

Walking out of the tower-cottage, Sasha felt her skin grow cool, as thought she'd walked into a shadow. She looked up to see the sun was blocked by a giant bird descending rapidly toward the landing strip in her front garden.

Looking over at Trista, she said, "Don't worry, it's only Socrates with my new organic place mat."
To Be Continued...


Rachel said...

I will NEVER look at the Anthropologie catalogue in the same light. Very excited to see how it all turns out!

Rebecca said...

When are you going to write a book? You have the most original ideas. "The Anthropologie Enchantment" sounds as fun as "Once Upon Stilettos. I am waiting . . . .

MommaMcCarthy said...

Love it! Can't wait for the next installment :)

Cassy said...

Wow.. that was really good </3 for coming up with it on the spot

the pictures are so so lovely

So long, and thanks for all the fish.