David and I received a lot of marriage advice before and after the big day. Some of it was contradictory. Several people told us to never go to bed angry, but then others told us the opposite, that it's much better to wait until the next day and talk with a cool head. Which do you think? DH and I aren't really sure.
2 comments:
It's hard sleeping next to someone that you're angry at...in my opinion. We've done both and really either way you don't even remember what it was you were fighting about in the morning anyway :)
Actually, doing some of each is best. When you're tired or in a bad mood, things can be said that are extremely difficult or impossible to repair. So don't go to bed mad; call for a truce until heads clear. Therefore, you aren't "mad" but merely putting a pause on negotiating until later. Even simply say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk about this now.” Respect your partner's wishes when they say this no matter how frustrating it is. Trust me, pressing the issue at that moment will only make things worse. NEVER raise your voice, bite your tongue rather than say anything you'll remotely regret, and express extra love and consideration. "I know we're mad at each other, but I love you more than anything. Let's talk about this tomorrow." Holding each other and touching foreheads together sooths the spirit. Crying releases good endorphins. When all else fails, sleep on opposite sides of the bed and deal with it the next day.
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