Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dan Brown Mad-Lib

Whether you like or dislike Dan Brown, this fact is undeniable: he has consistent plot elements that repeat through out every book. If one knows the pattern (i.e. if one has read a single book of his), then the mystery is gone. You know what is going to happen. If you've read one you've read them all. Beware of pattern spoilers!

Little did he know, that his actions in the last 24 hours would lead to his demise. He wished to speak, but could not, and could only feel the life draining out of him. (continue with ominous demise and unusual method of death bit)

Chapter 1:
(beautiful brilliant single woman's name)awoke early in the morning by a phone call.

Chapter 2:
(handsome brilliant single man's name) discovered a very unusual message left on his cell phone.

Chapter 3:
(Barely mysterious antagonist) secretly plots in a disguised voice over the phone to his lackey.

Chapter 4:
(Father figure) is involved in seemingly innocuous meeting with (handsome single man or beautiful single woman).

Chapter 5-15:
Development of plot delving deep into either historical or scientific minutiae. Then plot thickening, involving misleading cliffhangers at the end of each chapter, eventually uniting (handsome single man) with (beautiful single woman) as they either run for their lives or get perilously close to uncovering a secret at risk to their lives. (Father figure) appears to be helping them. Meanwhile, attraction grows between (handsome single man) and (beautiful single woman).

Chapter 16:
Carefully researched plot explodes with the (father figure) revealing himself as the (barely mysterious antagonist). (handsome single man) and (beautiful single woman) are shocked and have no one to trust but one another, driving them closer together as the (father figure/barely mysterious antagonist) hunts them down.

Chapter 17:
(handsome single man) nearly dies, but manages to save the day.

Last Chapter:
(handsome single man) and (beautiful single woman) finally get time to hang out.

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

LOVE IT! You should send this to the New York Times; I'm not kidding. It is just too good!

So long, and thanks for all the fish.