Worst Weatherman in History

Some kids putting on a news program, with the most awkward weatherman ever. Don't miss this report.

white men can't jump

Jump time, 4:39:13 am pacific time, thursday. Creative? Yes. Effective? No. Confused? Look here and here.

Maybe next week, everyone on the planet can hold their breath at the same time. That way, we can preserve oxygen and slow the buildup of carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas. In fact, this method may prove so effective, it will become a daily regimen. I'm brilliant.

On a less sarcastic note...
the end.

The stereotype I will become.

I am an aunt. This is a marvelous thing. I have never before been an aunt. I have decided to become "the cool aunt." I feel as though I am exceptionally qualified for this position.
My qualifications:
1. I am single. Thus there is no one to distract me from baby.
2. I live near San Francisco, the city where cool stuff is.
3. I go to Stanford. That, in itself, is "cool."
4. I will purchase pointless gifts for baby.
5. I live far away from baby, thus baby will look forward to seeing me. Baby will also never have time to discover any reasons why I should not be "the cool aunt."
6. I fly on planes a lot.
7. Baby will think I'm cool because I work in a building with a wind tunnel where they fly miniature planes.
8. My hair is very very short. Thus I am hip. (However, the other aunt has very short hair too. Thus we shall both be hip.)
9. I read a lot of books. Therefore I am brilliant. Thus, I am cool.
10. Because I live far away, baby could come and visit. Visiting far off places is cool, especially when you know someone there.

There is the list. If I think of anything else I'll update it.