Social Security & DMV

I officially changed my name. Yes, lr=lrh. This occurred one sunny day in July after waiting for an hour in the downtown San Jose social security office. While unusual for me to be in San Jose, it was even more unusual for me to find myself waiting at social security. I found out too late that you can make appointments. Alas. At least I had a book:) While I attempted to read I was distracted by a family that sat behind me. Every time a new number was called they would excitedly count how many numbers were left until their number. "C65! Our number is C95, that's only 30 more people!" They did this over and over...Meanwhile at least 25 numbers were called and none of them were even close to my number: B214. As time passed by, I began to worry and wondered why there were no other B numbers called. Finally they called my number, just before C95. I'd arrived before them, after all. Changing your name takes a whole 3 minutes. Make an appointment.

PS: The DMV is too horrifying to mention.

used book sale

Once a month my local library (Palo Alto City) has a book sale. Today was the first time I'd gone in several months. It is a huge operation--tons of volunteers help out. It's like going to an full size library and everything is for sale and extremely cheap. There are so many people that go that you have to wait in line so they can keep the number of people within fire code limits. The volunteers are always book enthusiasts who have pert opinions on where books should be categorized. For this reason I'm always excited to find a book in the wrong category. The mistakes are caused because of the misleading titles--which unless you've read it, you would never know. Today I found "Surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman!" in the humor section. Lots of books are funny, but that doesn't put it in the humor section. This book is an autobiography of a physicist. I've also found romance novels in the cookbook section--something similar to the title, "Cooking Up a Storm." That one didn't have a single recipe! Hrmph.

The punchline is, today while looking in the cookbook section (again! I have far too many cookbooks) I overheard a volunteer call out, "The person who put Flora and Fauna Designs in the cookbook section should know I am very angry! Someone might have been looking for this book and could not find it because it is in the wrong section!" Then I hid my nose in the cookbook I was looking in (the recipe on the page was for suckling pig..hmm) and tried to look nonchalant.

translation to: a mathematical love story

It seems as though I was a bit obscure. Thus I will provide a line by line translation.

Firstly, one must understand that my husbands initials are DRH, but usually just goes by DH, dropping middle initial. My initials are now LRH, but I have hitherto been known as LR. Thus H is husbands last name.

Secondly, (<3) is a heart (in parentheses)! Gchat has taught us these essential techniques for expressing one's self.

---if(dh + lr = <3, lr=lrh, lr=lr); ---
If statement: DH plus LR equals love. If true, then LR becomes redefined as LRH. If false, LR remains LR. (LR representing the hitherto single entity). This is the IF format used in EXCEL.

---elseif(dh +lr =2*(<3), dh=dr,dh=dh);---
If statement: DH plus LR equals twice love. If true, then DH changes name to DR (takes LR’s last name), If false, DH remains DH. ELSEIF is a command in matlab I think, but it is pointless in my opinion because IF does the same job.

---dh=drh;---
DH redefined to be DRH. This is just to create the new variable DRH for future use. Also note the semicolon at the end of the lines to this point. MATLAB and MAPLE lines end in this, though MAPLE also uses a colon.

---factor(drh + lrh) = (d + l)rh---
LRH has been created as a variable because the initial IF statement turned out to be true. Thus now there is both DRH and LRH variables in the workspace. Now I take the twisted turn of ignoring previously defined variables and assuming d,r,h,and l are all unique variables as though in an algebraic equation. I factor the common RH out of the equation. FACTOR is something I used to use in MAPLE and MATHEMATICA. I stopped using semicolons to terminate the lines at this point because I'm now looking at it as an algebraic equation and not a statement.

---(d+l)rh=(<3)---
Returning to the original IF statement, since LR became LRH, DH plus LR must equal love. And since I factored DH plus LR to equal (d+l)rh, I plugged that in the love equation.

---...d+l=(<3)/rh ---
And now I am just manipulating the equation with standard mathematical operations.

---...d+l-d=(<3)/rh-d ---
---...(l-d) +d = (<3)/rh-d ---
---...(l-d) = (<3)/rh-2d ---
Aha. And now I have solved for (l-d).

---if(l - d = h) ---
I have subtracted the 12th letter of the alphabet from the 4th letter of the alphabet. This resulted in the 8th letter of the alphabet, h.

---& substitute:---
---thus: h=(<3)/rh-2d ---
I solved the above love equation for (l-d). Since I determined (l-d) equals h, I substituted h for (l-d).

---...h = (<3-2drh)/rh ---
more manipulating.

---...rh^2 = (<3) - 2drh ---
---...rh(h+2d) = (<3) ---
This is the final line of my proof. I have redefined love (<3).

---!!---
I tried and failed to find "therefore" in the symbol options or in the ALT secret combinations. Does anybody know how to make "therefore"? Alas. I know not.

---A: rh(h+2d) ---
---Q: What is love---
In Jeopardy format.

a mathematical love story

if(dh + lr = <3, lr=lrh, lr=lr);
elseif(dh +lr =2*<3, dh=dr,dh=dh);
dh=drh;

factor(drh + lrh) = (d + l)rh

(d+l)rh=<3
...d+l=(<3)/rh
...d+l-d=(<3)/rh-d
...(l-d) +d = (<3)/rh-d
...(l-d) = (<3)/rh-2d

if(l - d = h)
& substitute:
thus: h=(<3)/rh-2d
...h = (<3-2drh)/rh
...rh^2 = <3 - 2drh
...rh(h+2d) = <3
!!

A: rh(h+2d)

Q: What is love

What I've done the last month instead of blogging:

1. gone to three wedding dress fittings
2. had two bridal showers (makes for seven total)
3. searched for, stressed over, and finally found new apartment
4. haunted craigslist looking for furniture
5. made 10+ house visits to look at furniture or pick up
6. rented a truck twice
7. spent many hours online fruitlessly researching anything and everything wedding related
8. was broadsided on Dumbarton bridge and became one with the concrete barrier at 80 miles per hour
9. became bridezilla
10. drove through MacArthur Maze during rush hour and lived
11. stressed over late wedding invitations which led to a Berkeley stake out
12. typed up 300 labels
13. stuffed and mailed 550 wedding invitations
14. cleaned new apartment (the dirtiest wood floors EVER)
15. discovered computer has died (again)
16. packed up old apartment
17. moved into new apartment
18. found silverware
19. ate cereal
20. slept in my new lovely bed

And now we have reached the present. I now live in a chaotic mess lined with a whole wall of bookshelves and lovely books. And a fridge that is all MINE.

Meanwhile, I still work full time and commute 2 1/2 hours per day. And I am not sick. This is a miracle.

perfect fruit

I have eaten the most perfect banana.

A brilliant yellow.
Opened with ease.
No browning of fingernails due to misplaced banana juice.
No hint of ripe aftertaste.

Sigh.

Bridezilla cometh

I am Bridezilla now.
Beware.
I am mean.
I make impossible demands with no remorse.

A haiku for you:

Bridezilla cometh
Stay not in paths of danger
Beware the large foot