things worth knowing

1. The Museum of Bad Art. Someone is keeping track of all the bad art. I think this is very important. I enjoy bad art as least as well as good art, possibly more.

2. Web Pages that Suck. Someone else is keeping track of all the worst web pages out there. Unfortunately, said person notifies web-site owners when they win the "Worst Web Page in the World" award...and as a result many of them have been improved. But a few have not been improved..and these are my favorites:

This page has a brilliantly tiled background. I've never laughed so hard by myself at the computer, ever. (I do not mean to imply that I have laughed as hard with another person at the computer, nor do I imply that I have laughed as hard by myself away from the computer. Although, these two cases may very well have occurred. Furthermore, it is likely that I have laughed as hard with another person (or more) away from the computer.)

This one is..well..what it is.

This one is a game...can you move the cursor across the screen without activating a pop-up box? Apparently not. Tricksy.

3. The Bad Cookie. The bad fortune cookie, to be precise.

I shall sleep better tonight knowing such websites exist.

they exist.

Yesterday, my lunch cost $2.45. Today, the same lunch cost $3.00. I didn't have that much money. The man behind me offered to pay the difference. I just wanted to point out that notwithstanding all the people who lie, cheat, swindle, etc., there are still very kind people out there who will pay for your lunch and smile at you at the same time. So thanks, whoever you are. I am less of a cynic today than I was yesterday.

there are no words...

Watch this.

This post was brought to you by Libby.

stupid earthquake

So, I studied earthquakes during my undergrad. I move to california. I put in my time. And then when the earthquake finally happens (evening of August 2--epicenter in the east bay), I'm on an airplane in the middle of nevada, 1 hour away from landing. And it was 4.4 magnitude...there's no way I wouldn't have felt that one. I'll just have to go on living I suppose...

n is for nerd

I can't help that I'm a nerd at heart. And as such, I have found the source of much future glee. Here. (Thanks to Brad..but I don't think he knows that I know.) The manic mode is the best. And, being the nerd that I am, I counted the number of different bubble imprint patterns...there are four. (Am I wrong?)

I have recently begun to read a book..a lipogrammatic book, once written in french by a Georges Perec, and translated into English by Gilbert Adair. At any rate, its called A Void, and it doesn't have the letter "e" in it. But the best part of the whole book is the picture of Perec on the back cover...which looks somewhat like this but with a more conflicted facial expression.

I may or may not think of anything further to say.

I thought of something else. Push it for a few seconds just to get the stats. People actually hold the stupid thing for days on end. People are dumb. (This is where my father says, and I quote:

"If I say that I agree then because people are dumb I must be wrong because since people are dumb there is a significant chance that people are smart and we only think that they are dumb because we are not smart but if we are not smart then the original proposition is probably true and people are really dumb."

Sorry Dad. That was just too great not to repeat.)

But then, maybe we are the stupid ones, because really all they do is get a single button mac mouse and put a book on it. But then..that would mean their computer was out of commission during that time. Or maybe they went on vacation. Maybe I should devote my life to finding things other than online buttons and bubble wrap.

Worst Weatherman in History

Some kids putting on a news program, with the most awkward weatherman ever. Don't miss this report.

white men can't jump

Jump time, 4:39:13 am pacific time, thursday. Creative? Yes. Effective? No. Confused? Look here and here.

Maybe next week, everyone on the planet can hold their breath at the same time. That way, we can preserve oxygen and slow the buildup of carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas. In fact, this method may prove so effective, it will become a daily regimen. I'm brilliant.

On a less sarcastic note...
the end.