they exist.

Yesterday, my lunch cost $2.45. Today, the same lunch cost $3.00. I didn't have that much money. The man behind me offered to pay the difference. I just wanted to point out that notwithstanding all the people who lie, cheat, swindle, etc., there are still very kind people out there who will pay for your lunch and smile at you at the same time. So thanks, whoever you are. I am less of a cynic today than I was yesterday.

there are no words...

Watch this.

This post was brought to you by Libby.

stupid earthquake

So, I studied earthquakes during my undergrad. I move to california. I put in my time. And then when the earthquake finally happens (evening of August 2--epicenter in the east bay), I'm on an airplane in the middle of nevada, 1 hour away from landing. And it was 4.4 magnitude...there's no way I wouldn't have felt that one. I'll just have to go on living I suppose...

n is for nerd

I can't help that I'm a nerd at heart. And as such, I have found the source of much future glee. Here. (Thanks to Brad..but I don't think he knows that I know.) The manic mode is the best. And, being the nerd that I am, I counted the number of different bubble imprint patterns...there are four. (Am I wrong?)

I have recently begun to read a book..a lipogrammatic book, once written in french by a Georges Perec, and translated into English by Gilbert Adair. At any rate, its called A Void, and it doesn't have the letter "e" in it. But the best part of the whole book is the picture of Perec on the back cover...which looks somewhat like this but with a more conflicted facial expression.

I may or may not think of anything further to say.

I thought of something else. Push it for a few seconds just to get the stats. People actually hold the stupid thing for days on end. People are dumb. (This is where my father says, and I quote:

"If I say that I agree then because people are dumb I must be wrong because since people are dumb there is a significant chance that people are smart and we only think that they are dumb because we are not smart but if we are not smart then the original proposition is probably true and people are really dumb."

Sorry Dad. That was just too great not to repeat.)

But then, maybe we are the stupid ones, because really all they do is get a single button mac mouse and put a book on it. But then..that would mean their computer was out of commission during that time. Or maybe they went on vacation. Maybe I should devote my life to finding things other than online buttons and bubble wrap.

Worst Weatherman in History

Some kids putting on a news program, with the most awkward weatherman ever. Don't miss this report.

white men can't jump

Jump time, 4:39:13 am pacific time, thursday. Creative? Yes. Effective? No. Confused? Look here and here.

Maybe next week, everyone on the planet can hold their breath at the same time. That way, we can preserve oxygen and slow the buildup of carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas. In fact, this method may prove so effective, it will become a daily regimen. I'm brilliant.

On a less sarcastic note...
the end.

The stereotype I will become.

I am an aunt. This is a marvelous thing. I have never before been an aunt. I have decided to become "the cool aunt." I feel as though I am exceptionally qualified for this position.
My qualifications:
1. I am single. Thus there is no one to distract me from baby.
2. I live near San Francisco, the city where cool stuff is.
3. I go to Stanford. That, in itself, is "cool."
4. I will purchase pointless gifts for baby.
5. I live far away from baby, thus baby will look forward to seeing me. Baby will also never have time to discover any reasons why I should not be "the cool aunt."
6. I fly on planes a lot.
7. Baby will think I'm cool because I work in a building with a wind tunnel where they fly miniature planes.
8. My hair is very very short. Thus I am hip. (However, the other aunt has very short hair too. Thus we shall both be hip.)
9. I read a lot of books. Therefore I am brilliant. Thus, I am cool.
10. Because I live far away, baby could come and visit. Visiting far off places is cool, especially when you know someone there.

There is the list. If I think of anything else I'll update it.